Nicholas

30 april 2006 2:56am

It was a long time that i last update my blogs.Now i think it is time for me to do some updating , as i`m bored now and got nothing to do…

First come first ,i`m goin to ORD in 31st may..32 days from now.. and i can`t wait to reach that day… can`t wait to get my pink Ic… and find a part time jobs to earn $$ as i`m broke… i need $$ for my University and hostel…maybe i really spend too much… $700 pay/month end up wif no saving at all… how i spend it …i myself still could not figure out…but i think i can still work to earn some back… so it is no big deals…

okok dun talk abt army… now talk abt my love life again… haha

Recently i think i fall in love wif a gal… she is pretty… straight forward person and very easy going… and i think i love her… i`m lost… i do not know whether is that is she  THE ONE or is that i`m lonely and just need a female companian…. confusion is arising and i need an answer….how am i going to get it? i do not know…but to an aquarius men… is that once he is in love…he will try to convince himself that she is the one and only….I`m actually afraid of it…as last time i did the same and i end up with a tragics…

I do not know how much she weight in me till i went clubbing wif my friends… where i do not have much interest in dancing wif gals.. haha i will put myself away..

but now… after 5 years…2 years as a single and 3 years in my ex relationship… i do not know how to court gals le… i had forgotten how and i think i`m just behaving weirdly in front of her… i talk alot and it`s natural to me to be naughtly… haha is there any schools for courting gals.. i think i need to enlist there….

Infront of my men and while i working…confidence and serious atmostphere is a must…as i do things seriously …but when come to fun…i love to talk cock… the more cocck the better… but dun know why…when come to her… i`m just not the usual self….just one message from her… can send me flying … one chat will lighten my day… i think i `m behaving like a child now… totally not me…

and today, I think she is falling for another guy le,she finally finds the type of guys she love…… very fast…time just swap away if u never sieze it… especially feelings…she went out wif that guy and she sounded happy.. i felt happy for her… really happy… but also a lil jealous.. but my weightage of these two mix feeling as indeed a lil improportions… as i feel 90%happy and only 10 %jealous..as i know that i does not suit her… she is more of the happy and fashionable perfectionist. But i think i could not give her that… but i never feel sad…. haha to me.. i think i just believe that if u like someone… and if u never seize it fast… it will go… but how to seize that required courage and lucks….

remember how that time that i was stun… as my character is that ,when u wan me to talk or chat.. i can talk non stop… but how can a person talk non stop? he required motivation and participation by his partner… if u just give him a lil acknowlegment ,he will continue.. and if u remain quiet and only listen and not particiate… he will eventually be discourage and quiet down..i think this is how i feel… so due to many cases or fact.. i think `m trying to convince myself that she is not the one… haha hope it`s works… but  deep inside me i will not think so…. haha

okok actually i just type this out..purely is that i`m bored and have nothing to do… bored due to clearing leave…. but everytime i fall into another gal… it always make me discourage and lost of my confidence… it always happen.. may be my height is a factors? but i normal to see me feels inferior..but once it`s over…. i think i will be  back to normall… it`s require time.

IF you wan to have something u NEVER HAD BEFORE,

Then u must start doing stuff that u NEVER DID………

So should i start doing stuff that will shock everyone??………….

We shall see ………….

maybe things will happen………..

maybe not…….

Who knows? why think so much abt future where u never know wat is the outcome….

ISN`T IT BORING TO LIVE IN A LIFE WHERE U KNOW THE FUTURE AND THE OUTCOME..??

I WILL RATHER LIVE IN THE WORLD WHERE SURPRISES AND UNPREDICTED  SITUATION SET ASIDE FOR ME  TO OVERCOME OR EXPERIENCE….

YOU WILL NOT FEEL HAPPY IF U NEVER TASTE REAL SADDNESS WERE….

YOU WILL NOT LEARN TO APPRECIATE STUFF TILL WHEN U LOST IMPORTANTS THINGS BEFORE…

So now… i think i`m actually enjoy lifes… hope everyone feel the same too!!

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